Turning Problems into Opportunities: Informal Restorative Practices (Part I)

I acknowledge that this article was written on the traditional lands of the Ngunnawal people. I acknowledge and respect their continuing culture and connections to land, water and community. I pay respect to the Elders of the Ngunnawal Nation, past, present and emerging. It always was and always will be Aboriginal land.

When things go wrong, it's hard to stay strong

As community development practitioners, we often encounter situations where focusing on assets becomes challenging in the face of adversity. This article is specifically tailored for those working in community development, offering insights into how restorative practices can complement our existing approaches, particularly when confronted with conflicts or setbacks.

I experienced such a moment once when a devastating conflict rocked the community I worked with. In the aftermath, morale plummeted, engagement dwindled, and I found myself cancelling activities due to lack of participation. For months, I grappled with how to move forward, finding it difficult to concentrate on "what's strong" when everything had gone wrong.

This experience led me to explore alternative conflict transformation strategies that could complement our asset-based approaches. During this exploration, I discovered two distinct yet complementary frameworks: the Alternatives to Violence Project (AVP) and Restorative Practices.

While I plan to delve into AVP in a future article, this piece focuses on what I've learned about restorative practices and how they can help us, as community development practitioners, guide our communities towards healing and growth. We'll explore the concept of restorative practices, its alignment with community development principles, and practical tools that you can immediately incorporate into your work.

To address these challenges, let's first understand what restorative practices are and how they can benefit community development.

What are restorative practices?

Figure 1. "What is Restorative Practices?" (Source: IIRP 2024).

Quick Definition: Restorative practices are an emerging social science field that explores ways to strengthen relationships and communities (IIRP 2024).

Howard Zehr (2015), known as the "grandfather" of restorative practices, argues that this approach is about building and maintaining healthy relationships and communities, not just dealing with problems and conflict.

According to Ted Wachtel (2016), restorative practice achieves this by building "social capital" in a community through participatory dialogue, learning, and problem-solving. In this context, social capital can be understood as building a strong network of relationships, helping to cultivate healthy and positive community environments (Putnam 2000; Villalonga-Olives et al. 2018; Flores et al. 2018).

Restorative practices are adaptable and can be used in many settings, including neighbourhoods, communities, schools, workplaces, and prisons. In the school environment, for instance, restorative practices can foster a sense of belonging among students and staff (Morrison et al. 2005). In prisons, community involvement can address wrongdoing and reintegrate offenders into the community (Braithwaite 1989).

Now that we know a bit more about restorative practices, let's briefly explore how these can be implemented across a spectrum of interventions.

The Restorative Practices CONTINUUM: Informal Practices

Figure 1. "Restorative Practices Continuum" (Source: Costello et al. 2019, p. 10).

Quick Definition: The Restorative Practices Continuum includes different approaches, from informal to structured restorative processes (see Figure 1).

The informal practices, including affective statements and questions, lie at one end of the continuum. In the middle, we have small impromptu conversations. On the other end are the formal processes, including facilitated group or circle work and formal conferences. This continuum offers a flexible application of restorative practices, adapting to each situation's needs and circumstances (Costello et al. 2019).

In this article, I will focus on the informal end of the continuum and introduce the concepts of affective statements and affective questions. If you wish to read about formal processes, please look out for Part II of this article.

Now that we understand the basics of restorative practices, it's important to consider how they fit within the broader field of community development.

Is restorative Practice a Branch of Community Development?

Short answer: While not strictly a branch of community development, restorative practices can be considered a complementary approach.

As I argue, Asset-Based Community Development (ABCD)—an approach to mobilising a community's existing strengths and resources to create positive change—and restorative practices go hand in hand. For instance, both approaches recognise people as the experts of their own lives and work to de-stigmatise labelled or stereotyped people (Kretzman & McKnight 1993; Costello et al. 2019).

Both approaches also advocate for community ownership over the development or transformation process. ABCD, for one, advocates for community-led development (Kretzman & McKnight 1993). Similarly, restorative practices are a collaborative effort, emphasising "doing things with [people], rather than to them or for them" (Costello et al. 2019, p. 5).

However, restorative practices have one core difference. While ABCD acknowledges that problems exist, it has a decidedly strong focus on assets in lieu of problems (Kretzman & McKnight 1993). Restorative practices, on the other hand, acknowledge that problems are part and parcel of community life and view them as opportunities for personal growth and community transformation (Zehr 2015; Wachtel 2016; Costello et al. 2019).

Adopting restorative practices alongside existing approaches enables us to embrace both assets and problems, while also humanising people and taking a holistic approach (Rogers 1962). For Costello et al., this approach involves "separat[ing] the deed from the doer" (2009, p. 4). By doing this, we can recognise the inherent worth and dignity of each person and address problematic behaviours without diminishing their overall value (Rogers 1961; Costello et al. 2019).

In essence, restorative practices involve changing our attitudes and believing in community members, even when their actions or behaviours are undesirable. To implement this approach, restorative practices offer practical tools that can be readily applied in community development settings.

Let's now explore two key informal restorative practices: affective statements and affective questions. These tools can help us achieve a more holistic and humanising approach in our community development work.

Express Your Feelings: Affective Statements

What are Affective Statements?

Quick Definition: Using an affective statement means sharing our feelings with others to let them know how their actions have impacted us.

Affective statements, often called "I" statements, are a powerful communication tool that allows us to express our feelings in response to others' actions (Costello et al. 2019). By focusing on our own emotional experience rather than accusing or criticising the other person, affective statements create a safe space for open dialogue and mutual understanding (Smith 2015).

Affective statements are powerful for several reasons:

Firstly, it allows us to express and process our emotional response to a particular situation. Secondly, it invites the listener to view the situation from our perspective. It's important to recognise that people are often unaware of how their actions impact others emotionally. This invitation to empathy, as noted by Davis (1983) and Wachtel (2016), is a cornerstone of building stronger, more compassionate relationships.

Thirdly, it fosters open communication. By framing our feelings in a non-threatening way, we create an environment where the listener is more likely to be receptive to our message. This openness can lead to more productive conversations and problem-solving, as both parties feel heard and respected (Costello et al. 2019).

Lastly, it provides a structured and productive way to process and express emotions. Rather than suppressing feelings or expressing them in potentially harmful ways, affective statements allow for a healthy outlet. For the listener, as Goleman (2006) notes, these statements present an opportunity to develop emotional intelligence.

Affective statements, while incredibly useful in conflict resolution, have a much broader application in our daily lives and interactions. They are valuable tools for improving communication and relationships in various contexts, as I outline below.

Affective Statements for Community Development

While affective statements can be used in any context, they are useful for working with community members, including when building relationships, reinforcing positive behaviour, and encouraging active participation in activities (Seligman & Csikszentmihalyi 2000; Pranis 2005; Wachtel 2016). For instance, by recognising and affirming positive actions, we can motivate community members to repeat these behaviours (Seligman & Csikszentmihalyi 2000; Costello et al. 2019).

Example: When members of the Community Advisory Council frequently arrive late to meetings, you feel very frustrated. However, one day, they all happen to show up on time. Rather than saying, "Thanks for being on time today," you say: "I'm so pleased you all arrived on time today. This will allow us to get through the agenda quickly and maybe have an early mark!"

As the example above shows, encouraging positive behaviour through affective statements can subtly encourage desirable actions in community members (Costello et al. 2019). By providing affirmation and reward, affective statements increase the likelihood that desirable actions will be both imitated and repeated by members of the community (Skinner 1938; Bandura 1977).

Expressing positive feelings and affirmation towards community members is also useful for building meaningful relationships. Affirming positive actions—such as acknowledging hard work, collaborations, and successes—helps strengthen social capital and conveys trust in community members' abilities and skills (Skinner 1938; Goleman 2006; Costello et al. 2019).

Example: When Patricia turns up to the neighbourhood block party despite feeling highly anxious in social situations, instead of saying, "Thanks for coming," you say, "I'm really happy to see you here, Patricia." If you're having a private conversation with her, you might even say: "Patricia, I'm proud of you for getting out of your comfort zone. I hope to see you at the next event."

As we can see, affective statements are sometimes best delivered privately (Rosenberg, 2015; Costello et al., 2019). It is important to point out that restorative approaches do not condone publicly shaming or embarrassing people, as this not only leads to feelings of humiliation, anxiety, and depression but also breaks down community relationships (Braithwaite 1989; Tangney and Dearing 2002; Costello et al. 2019).

Example: Bobby is a loveable socialite in your community. She regularly attends events and, unfortunately, gossips about her neighbours. You decide to pull her aside for a chat. Instead of saying something like, "Bobby, gossiping about your neighbours is wrong," you decide to say, "I know you are a kind person, Bobby. When I hear you talk badly of your neighbours, I feel this behaviour is unlike you."

As we can see, it is crucial to maintain an awareness of a person's inherent strengths, even when they are acting poorly (Rogers 1961; Zehr 2015; Costello et al. 2019).

In Bobby's case, the affective statement is more likely to resonate if you have established strong social capital with her (Putnam 2000; Costello et al. 2019). Given your relationship's solid foundation, she is likely to experience a mix of emotions, triggering self-reflection and personal growth within her (Costello et al. 2019). Aligning with Braithwaite's (1989) concept of reintegrative shaming, you are able to condemn Bobby's act while respecting her as a person.

Examples of Affective Statements

Standard Statement	Affective Statement
“Nice work, Carmen.”	“I’m proud of your achievement, Carmen.”
“I feel better, thanks for asking.”	“It means a lot to me that you care.”
"Thanks for doing that, Samara."	"I'm very grateful for your help, Samara."
“June, you are being inappropriate.”	“June, I’m feeling uncomfortable.”
“Raj, you didn’t attend the meeting.”	“Raj, I missed you at the meeting.”
“Don’t do that, Jo, you’ll hurt someone.”	“When I saw you do that, Jo, I was worried someone would get hurt.”

Figure 2. Adapted from “Other examples of affective statements” (Source: Costello et al. 2019a, p. 13).

What are they feeling?: Affective Questions

What are Affective Questions?

Definition: Asking someone an affective question helps them share their feelings, reflect on their behaviour, and develop empathy for those affected.

While affective statements allow us to express our own feelings, affective questions help us understand the feelings of others (Zehr 2015; Costello et al. 2009). Any questions that "elicit feelings and address impact" can be considered affective questions (Costello et al. 2009, p. 18).

Similar to affective statements, affective questions are powerful for several reasons:

Firstly, affective questions encourage emotional expression and self-awareness. By asking others to identify and express their feelings, they learn emotional intelligence. As Goleman (2006) notes, this involves developing self-awareness and self-regulation.

Secondly, they promote perspective-taking and empathy. By encouraging reflection on the impact of actions, affective questions improve empathic understanding (Davis 1983). This process allows people to consider how their actions affect others, fostering a more compassionate and considerate approach to interactions.

Thirdly, they facilitate reflective practice. Schön (1983) describes this as "reflection-on-action," where people think critically about past events and their emotional responses, leading to deeper learning and improved future behaviour.

Lastly, they serve as a tool for checking in and addressing the aftermath of incidents. For example, asking "How are you feeling after all that?" following an event is an affective question that allows for emotional processing (Costello et al. 2009).

Affective Questions for Community Development

Like affective statements, affective questions are best posed privately (Rosenberg 2015; Costello et al. 2019). This is particularly important when dealing with sensitive people, including children or young people, as it provides a safe environment to express vulnerable emotions or admit to mistakes (Edmondson 1999).

The tone and delivery of these questions are essential in creating a safe and contemplative atmosphere (Costello et al. 2019). Scolding or shouting at people, even if expressing feelings and posing an affective question, contradicts a restorative approach (Braithwaite, 1989; Tangney and Dearing 2002; Costello et al. 2019).

Example: A young person, Lin (pronouns: they/them), participates in the life skills workshop you're running. Suddenly, they start swearing at one of the other participants. Instead of calling them out in the moment, you pull them aside and ask, "Are you okay? What happened?" Lin is surprised that you asked this question instead of berating them. You give them a chance to give their side of the story.

In this way, a restorative question only remains restorative if used correctly. For instance, if you yelled at Lin and said, "What happened?!", that would be a restorative question delivered using a non-restorative approach (Costello et al. 2009).

Some emotional intelligence is required to deliver affective questions effectively, where you can manage your emotions whilst expressing them (Goleman 2006). It is crucial to avoid using a punitive or accusatory tone, which can hinder the other person's willingness to engage in self-reflection (Costello et al. 2009).

However, Lin's scenario is not always possible; sometimes, there is not always an opportunity to speak privately (Costello et al., 2009). Another approach is to provide the questions in written form, in what Schön (1983) refers to as reflective practice, allowing the person to reflect first and then respond later.

Example: Two young people who regularly visit your youth centre get into a physical fight, which is broken up by staff. Since the youths are still highly emotional and the centre is closing, there is no time for a debrief. Before they leave, you hand them a printed list of the questions and ask them to reflect on them and write down their answers. You request that they bring their responses with them the next day.

While this scenario may seem unrealistic for some, it is possible for youth workers who have built strong social capital with their young people (Putnam 2000). In this scenario, you have created a sense of accountability and given young people time to cool off, which allows an opportunity for them to emotionally regulate whilst maintaining their dignity and connection to the community (Braithwaite 1989; Gross 2015).

This strategy can also benefit people who are disengaged or experiencing high anxiety, serving as a trauma-informed response that can contribute to making them feel safe (van der Kolk, 2014). Presenting the questions in a written format enables them to contemplate and process things in private rather than responding immediately in a face-to-face interaction (Costello et al. 2009).

Restorative Questions: Tried-and-Tested Affective Questions

In Figure 3 below, you will find the structured affective questions developed by experienced restorative practitioners. The questions on the left are designed for people who have engaged in behaviour that negatively impacts others (e.g., "wrongdoers"), while the questions on the right are intended for those affected by such behaviour (e.g., "victims").

Focusing solely on the questions in the second column may be more appropriate when there is no clear delineation of roles (Costello et al. 2019).

When Things Go Wrong	When People Are Affected
What happened?	What did you think when you realised what had happened?
What were you thinking at the time?	What impact has this incident had on you and others?
What have you thought about since?
Who has been affected by what you have done? In what way have they been affected?	What has been the hardest thing for you?
What do you think you need to do to make things right?	What do you think needs to happen to make things right?

Figure 3. Restorative Questions (Source: Costello et al. 2019, p. 14).

Downloadable Resource: Affective Questions - Printable Cards

Although the affective questions are most often used in formal restorative conferences, their use extends beyond these structured environments. The principles of affective questioning can be applied to a wide range of situations and interactions.

It's important to note that the affective questions can also be unstructured (Costello et al. 2009). The true essence of restorative questioning lies not in adhering to a rigid script but in prompting people to explore and express their feelings while considering the consequences of their actions (Costello et al. 2009; Watchel 2016). This adaptability allows practitioners to respond more effectively to diverse situations and cultural contexts (Watchel 2016).

what's wrong Can bring out what's strong

Restorative practices offer a powerful framework for transforming problems into opportunities for growth and positive change within communities. By integrating informal techniques like affective statements and questions into our daily interactions, we foster environments of open communication, empathy, and mutual understanding.

Key takeaways:

Affective statements express feelings about others' actions, promoting empathy and self-awareness.
Affective questions encourage reflection on behaviour and its impact.
These practices complement asset-based community development approaches.
Restorative techniques help build and maintain healthy relationships, even in challenging situations.

Next steps for community development practitioners:

Practice using affective statements daily.
Keep affective questions handy for impromptu conversations.
Introduce restorative practices to your team or community group.
Incorporate these techniques into existing community development strategies.
Consider further training to deepen your skills.

By embracing restorative practices, we create more resilient, empathetic, and connected communities. Remember, this journey is ongoing and requires consistent effort. Start small, be patient, and watch as these practices gradually transform your community interactions. Through restorative approaches, we can turn challenges into opportunities for growth, fostering stronger, more cohesive communities.

Links to Resources

Canberra Restorative Community: A website and network for all those who live in Canberra and are interested in sharing and learning about the applications of restorative justice practices and processes.
Australian Association for Restorative Justice (AARJ): A Professional Association of individuals and organisations working with restorative justice and restorative practices. Its website includes information about training and accreditation and other resources.
International Institute for Restorative Practice (IIRP): The world's first accredited graduate school specialising in restorative practice. Its website includes more information about restorative practice, including a podcast.
Australian Restorative Mapping: This mapping site provides a platform for individuals and organisations in Australia to represent their restorative engagement and share their stories.
Recommended Reading: Moore, DB & Vernon, A 2023, Setting Relations Right in Restorative Practice: Broadening Mindsets and Skill Sets, Routledge, London.

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